I found inspiration and sadness at the same place.
Inspiration to share my experience.
Sadness because this tiny people have to go through so much to grow up.
Inspiration because there is still so much love, passion and heart in many people.
Sadness because life cannot be cruel.
Inspiration because a small accomplisment seems the size of himalayas to them,
Sadness because for us even small things make us so irritated, unhappy and angry.
I donnoe, today my heart is very heavy becuase I have been so foolishly blind with special things around me. Selfishly centered my attention on myself. I still have my two arms, two legs, two eyes and two ears functioning properly. I have my heart and mind under control. But there are so many little lovable souls who do not have these things under their control. These lovable souls would need the help of someone all their life.
For me it is not the end of life, but for them there is not much a choice…I donnoe..*sighz
There was once upon a time when i was thinking of going into special ed after i have worked in the main stream for some years. but after these two days of experience in an autistic school, i dont think i have the passion and patience that i see in the teachers there. I dont think I can smile through the day giving the children support all the while. or see e small steps that the students make patiently till they reach the end. I donnoe whether i have that kind of patience. When I saw these teachers, when i talked to them I felt a sense of guilt that I do not think like them. I do not possess that kind of patience that they have. At the end of the day, I drew inspiration from them.
Secondly the students. Actually i should have wrote about the students first. They are the most important people. If you want to see the shape of innocence and a real child. These children would be them. Everything they did broke my heart. Esp the younger ones. I so wanted to give them a hug…but they turnt away from me. I dont have much to say. but it is a special experience.